| Kansas City Saint Mark Coptic Orthodox Church Youth Magazine March 2008 |
A friend told me that having a personal relationship with Jesus is how we could be
assured of eternal life and is what gave us purpose in this life. So I prayed with her,
admitting to God that I was a sinner and that I needed His forgiveness and His help. But
at the same time that I was asking Him to take control of my life, I began to question
whether or not God even existed. Nevertheless, I tried even harder to just keep
following the formula and going through the outward motions of Christianity; I thought I
could get rid of my doubts by simply ignoring them. It lasted for a while, but not long. I
eventually told God that he didn’t exist and I moved on with my life. My last three years
of high school were rough. I found my worth in what other people thought of me and in my
grades. But when the things that I found my worth in let me down, I became worthless
and I didn’t know where to turn.
When I got to college, I had that same emptiness and loneliness in my life. I ended up
joining a bible study because I wanted answers. My leader and I started meeting and
talking about the doubts I had. There are so many opposing ideas out there like evolution
or other religions. I didn’t know what to believe or how to find the truth. And even if
God existed I didn’t know what he wanted with me when he had so many other Christians;
I didn’t know why he would love me that much. Slowly, though, I started to believe and to
realize that nothing made sense without God. I just took one step toward God and He
came running the rest of the way. It was a difficult process but God has changed my
heart so much. And now I’m doing all of the same things I used to do like praying and
reading the Bible but I’m doing them because I love Jesus. There is such a difference
between following a formula and being in a relationship with Jesus, one where He is
walking alongside you and changing you. Looking back, it’s sometimes still hard to believe
how he was working in my life even when I was trying to push Him out of it. It’s amazing
what He can do in you if you let Him.
assured of eternal life and is what gave us purpose in this life. So I prayed with her,
admitting to God that I was a sinner and that I needed His forgiveness and His help. But
at the same time that I was asking Him to take control of my life, I began to question
whether or not God even existed. Nevertheless, I tried even harder to just keep
following the formula and going through the outward motions of Christianity; I thought I
could get rid of my doubts by simply ignoring them. It lasted for a while, but not long. I
eventually told God that he didn’t exist and I moved on with my life. My last three years
of high school were rough. I found my worth in what other people thought of me and in my
grades. But when the things that I found my worth in let me down, I became worthless
and I didn’t know where to turn.
When I got to college, I had that same emptiness and loneliness in my life. I ended up
joining a bible study because I wanted answers. My leader and I started meeting and
talking about the doubts I had. There are so many opposing ideas out there like evolution
or other religions. I didn’t know what to believe or how to find the truth. And even if
God existed I didn’t know what he wanted with me when he had so many other Christians;
I didn’t know why he would love me that much. Slowly, though, I started to believe and to
realize that nothing made sense without God. I just took one step toward God and He
came running the rest of the way. It was a difficult process but God has changed my
heart so much. And now I’m doing all of the same things I used to do like praying and
reading the Bible but I’m doing them because I love Jesus. There is such a difference
between following a formula and being in a relationship with Jesus, one where He is
walking alongside you and changing you. Looking back, it’s sometimes still hard to believe
how he was working in my life even when I was trying to push Him out of it. It’s amazing
what He can do in you if you let Him.
| Mandy Tadros |
| Victoria Rizk |
I have always known about God because I grew up going to church but
the God I knew then was very distant. I imagined him high up in the
clouds looking down at earth and making sure that everyone was
following the rules. Basically, my view of Christianity was that it was
just a formula of going to church, reading the Bible, praying, and being
nice to people. For the most part I was a pretty good person but I
always wondered if I was doing enough and I had no idea what my
purpose was in life. I figured that I would just live the American
dream while trying to be a good person and when I died God would
surprise me with whether or not I got into heaven. It wasn’t until my
freshman year of high school that my view of God started to change.
the God I knew then was very distant. I imagined him high up in the
clouds looking down at earth and making sure that everyone was
following the rules. Basically, my view of Christianity was that it was
just a formula of going to church, reading the Bible, praying, and being
nice to people. For the most part I was a pretty good person but I
always wondered if I was doing enough and I had no idea what my
purpose was in life. I figured that I would just live the American
dream while trying to be a good person and when I died God would
surprise me with whether or not I got into heaven. It wasn’t until my
freshman year of high school that my view of God started to change.
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